Hi, I’m annie. small bean sprout. chronic overthinker. college student. I talk too much in the abstract about squishy, out-of-place things–like feelings of existential despair, what it means to live meaningfully, how to find spiritual fulfillment, etc. My other hobbies include researching books to add to my reading queue instead of actually reading, roaming the streets of Philly at odd hours, and being lost and worried.
I’m not very good at describing myself, so I’ll leave here a quote by David Foster Wallace.
“the job we’re to do [as human beings] is learn how to live in a way that we’re not terrified all the time. And not in a position of using all kinds of different things and using people to keep that kind of terror at bay…the face I’d put on the terror is the dawning realization that nothing’s enough, you know? That no pleasure is enough, that no achievement is enough. That there’s a kind of queer dissatisfaction or emptiness at the core of the self that is unassuageable by outside stuff. And my guess is that that’s what’s going on, ever since people were hitting each other over the head with clubs. And that our particular challenge is that there’s never been more and better stuff comin’ from the outside, that seems temporarily to sort of fill the hole or drown out the hole…I think it’s probably assuagable by internal means. I think those internal means have to be earned and developed, and it has something to do with, um, um, the pop-psych phrase is lovin’ yourself.
It’s more like, if you can think of times in your life that you’ve treated people with extraordinary decency and love, and pure uninterested concern, just because they were valuable as human beings.” -DFW